A Rush of Blood to the Head

I believe being faced with death makes you a stronger person, not so much on the outside but on the inside. A person that's faced with death in any way becomes stronger on the inside because their faced with something that even physical strength cannot defeat. Some days I wonder if I'd be a stronger person if I was faced with death and my life started to flash before my eyes. I don't want to be faced with death any time soon, but I feel God gives you tests throughout your life and the least remarkable test is being faced with death. In my opinion, if your not mentally strong you will not be victorious when being faced with death.

It's a harsh blow that some people need to experience and be tested to make them realize how to appreciate life in a way where you just live it to it's complete fullest.

What's it really like to be near death?

Well, I've always wanted to know without it actually happening to me. People die constantly, people save others lives and live but some die saving someone else. I've always wanted to feel heroic and appreciated for something more. Everyone has their time when there just going to die, but I pray that every day I do something productive and to enrich my life and the lives of others.

Leadership; Becoming a leader

leadership - the activity of leading

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Muriel Strode


1. Motivation
- Internal and external forces and influences that drive an individual to achieving certain goals.

Motivation plays a tremendous role in becoming a leader because nothing you do get's done without motivation, the most important form of motivation you need is self motivation. This is because being self motivated means you do it for you, and when you do productive things for yourself it's because you motivated yourself to do these things and that's what being a leader is about.

Take me for example, I like to write when I have free time, and I write for my schools newspaper. No one told me to go write, no one forced me to sign up for the journalism class, I did these things on my own. I did these things because I consider myself a self motivated writer because I motivated my self to begin writing. This is also why I enjoy writing so much because it's something I chose to do because it calms me down when I need to calm down, it makes me happy when I'm sad, and I consider myself a really good writer.


2. Integrity
“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” - W. Clement Stone

Some say it's very difficult to do the right thing, so say it's rather easy. It depends on what the situation is. But, in any situation you need to always remember to do the right thing, no matter what people around you think is right, you do what you think is right, because you'll feel like a better person than you are now when you do what is right for every situation you come across.

To have the courage to say no is being a leader, to have the courage to be a leader your having the courage to be a person that has a lot of integrity, a person with a lot of integrity is a person that does the right thing and knows how to face the truth.


3. Confidence
- assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities

Having confidence in yourself is being a person that believes in themselves no matter what, it's being a person that has assurance in everything they do. I assure that confidence is a big part of becoming a leader, because you have the ability to make the decisions without relying on someone else, although at times you need someone to rely on, but why not be the person people come to when they need someone to rely on? Why not be the leader? Why not be the person people look for when they need help making a decision? You can be that person and you can be a leader.

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." - W.C. Fields


"To become a leader you need to be led into leadership" - Makayla Hopkins

Being Thankful

Thankful; being grateful, showing thanks.

Showing gratitude towards someone else is wonderful. That shows your appreciation, that shows how much your thankful and/or grateful. Also, it melts a person's heart when you show gratitude.

Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks, being grateful, being thankful etc.
But many people don't even give thanks on Thanksgiving and that's because their not use to verbalizing their thanks or they are not thankful at all.

I even feel that I'm not as thankful as I should be, but I'm positive that I show my thanks just by simply saying "thank you". It makes a person feel good with you show your thanks because that shows that their doing something to satisfy you and/or make you happy.

This blog is to help you show thanks; not just on Thanksgiving, everyday you can show thanks, you should, because that's how you get more things that will make you happy, be thankful.

Obama's Victory

Elected president Barrack Obama won this year’s election because his campaign was working hard non-stop and Barrack had many supporters in all states working very hard to get him his victory he disserved. Obama never quit campaigning, he worked very hard to get elected, and we all can agree that hard work pays off.

I feel that his victory means unity, change, and no more racial division through out the United States. Unity will bring us as one, and no more democratic party or republican party, just become one as a country. Change was Obama’s whole concern, and it defiantly was the perfect concern to have, because in my opinion change is what America has been searching for, and now Obama will show us change.

Once Obama is in office, he will have to take on challenges such as; health care, mortgage crisis in Iraq, and the economic crisis. Obama has many plans for health care, and I feel that he has a wonderful health care plan, he’s doing a great thing by lowering health care cost and promoting public health. Also, making health insurance affordable and assessable to all.

The economic crisis is one of the biggest issues in the United States at this point, and Obama has many plans to fix the economic crisis. Obama will provide 95 percent of working Americans the tax relief they need. They will create a new "Making Work Pay" tax credit of up to $500 per person, or $1,000 per working family. I feel this tax cut plan really got Obama a lot of votes. I feel Obama also got many votes due to his plan for the war in Iraq, which is; to end the war in Iraq responsibly and increase stability in Iraq and the region.

Obama being elected as the 44th president of the United States and being the first African American president, made this the most historical election. Obama’s promise for equality and change got a lot of his votes. In my opinion, if Obama keeps the promise with change, health care plan, tax cuts, and the rest of his plans, he could have a good chance of getting re-elected in the next 4 years.

Sitting in a Cafe

I sit in this little Cafe, things are racing in my head, 

I'm wondering why I haven't written in a long time, 

I'm wondering why my article made it in the paper, and some other articles didn't

While these wonders are in my head, I try to find a answer to these wonders, 

I'm wondering if I'll ever find the answer. 

I'm wondering why I didn't title this Wondering 

Well, that's enough wondering for one day. 

Busy for once

Ive actually been so busy with school and everything else going on in my life, I haven't had much time for writing. To be honest, it's really sadening me, because writing is love and I enjoy it.

I probably wont write as much, because school comes first and I'm striving to get straight A's for myself and my family. I really want to do good this year.

Writing comes second, but it's neck and neck with homework :)
Writing is what keeps me chill, calm, and collected.

I cant even finish because I have to go do something. Busy, busy, busy.
I need more time just for writing, writing, school, family and friends is all I care about, I don't care about anything else, honestly.

People pray for money, and all other material things.
I pray for time.

At this point, I'm desperate for time.

Life has never been so complicated

I sit and wonder why my life has become so complicated, people have turn against me (I will not say any names), these are all rhetorical questions, which means I'm not looking for any answers. I just cant imagine this ever happening, especially to me. What is going on? What did I do to diserve this?

If only you felt my pain, if only you knew what I go through. I speak these emotional loaded words to myself, I vent through my writings.

Maybe it's best if I get away, from all the negative energy. I try my hardest to stay positive, I really do. I know it's not to noticeable, but I do try my hardest.

I need a constant support system. When I say constant I mean a support system that doesn't quit.

I am my own support system, maybe I should have a back up.

Then again maybe not.

Journalist; is that what I am?

I feel I've wrote a lot, learned a lot but will continue to learn more and more enough to call myself a Journalist. I continue to say "I want to be a Journalist", "My dream is to be a Journalist".

My family and friends consider me as a Journalist, so why not go with the flow and call myself a Journalist? The things I say and the words I use are interesting, meaningful, and catchy.

Journalist - It's what I am and want to be for the rest of my life. I believe I've found my passion, I believe I was destined to be a Journalist, it'll always be with me, I will always love to write, nothing, I mean nothing will change that.

I've come to the conclusion that I was born to do this. Once I discovered writing I knew it was the best thing that happened to me. I knew I would love it, I knew it would soon be my passion.

I love writing, and I am a Journalist.

Love

Unconditional?
Everlasting?

We say love is those two things. Well, is it in fact true that it's everlasting and unconditional?
I say it's not, I say it's a bunch of bull that people believe.

Of course love is a good feeling to have, but it isn't always last and it's not always unconditional. Your a lucky person if your love last and stay good and great. I've been in relationships not many, but enough to know that they don't last, well lets just say love doesn't come my way, not yet anyway.

I see couples laughing, smiling, and fighting.
Love is never unconditional, it's common sense.

Creation

God created me, I came out of my mom's wound, but I make myself. Who I am today is because of me. My mom taught me respect and discipline. But, I made myself who I am today.

- The way I dress.
- The way I do my hair,
- The earings I wear

The way I am today is because I chose to be this way, It should only effect me, no one else.

It's okay to worry. Don't worry about the way I make myself.

Myself,
Myself,
Myself,

Thats the key,

Let me do me,
and you do you.

Walk Day

I walk and I write, to my left I glance at the water. Cows and horses in the fields. I write as loud music blast through my headphones. Hand writing is at it's worst. The road gets smaller as I look farther down.

As I walk I think about the things my mom said as she lectured me. As much as I wish it wasn't true, everything she said was so true I couldn't believe it.

I kick rocks as I walk, even though I'm writing, looking, observing, listening to music, boredom still beats me.

As I reach my destination I stop, sit, and then write.

I will walk morning and night, when temperatures our at it's lowest.

I walk and write,
I sit and write,
I dream and write,
I sleep and write,
I never stop writing.

"The Thrill" Feeling

Your in line to ride the scariest roller coaster in the amusement park, once you get in the front of the line and it's your turn to ride the roller coaster, your neurons start racing through your body at speeds you wouldn't imagine.

That feeling I just described is the feeling I get when I'm writing in my journal, or typing in this blog. I described it as best as I could, I just love that feeling, and I love writing.

Once I publish my first book or get the job as a journalist for AP MAGAZINE, I will feel that exact feeling once more.

Little time = less words.

Title Goes Here

There's no title because I just felt like writing off topic.

Family time is so valuable, I don't think I've thanked my family enough for all the things they have done for me.

My sister sent me a email about a passage that her professor said in her class. I related to it so much, it was like I felt the exact same way her professor did.

I watch a movie over and over again, every change I get, I don't own this movie, so I cant watch it as much as I'd like. This movie is called INTO THE WILD. Fantastic film, in fact I can really relate. Alexander Supertramp goes on a journey to Alaska, and he's going so when he returns he can write about his travels and adventures. I wish I could travel some where so I can write about the adventures etc.

I sit in my backyard and write as I do now, It's relaxing and quiet and helps me think. I've finally relized writing is more than a passion.

Realization

Coming to an understanding is the hardest thing for me, myself to do. Now that I have grown and continue to grow it only gets harder. Realizing what's wrong and what's right is always easy to figure out, but realizing what your destined to do in life is rather difficult and challenging.

First Step: Coming to an understanding, is the 1st step in realization.

I cant go further into the steps because I haven't got pass the first step. It's honestly harder than I though it would be. It's a challenge I soon will overcome, like when you first learn how to ride a bike without training wheels.

I need a guide, a guide who will show me the way to understanding. I say this because it's such a difficult challenge, and I may not be able to overcome this challenge without the help and support of others. Others as in family and friends. But what if my family doesn't approve or agree with my dream or if my friends aren't enough of a support system to guide me in the correct path. Family is the biggest support system anyone could ever ask for, that is what I need to guide me. The answer to come to a understanding and reaching a realization is a guide.

Insomnia

Insomnia - Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time

For the last few days and nights, I've probably only gotten about 3 hours of sleep each night.
Honestly, I kind of enjoyed not sleeping, only because I'd have more time to write, without being bothered. But then, I started thinking soon this Insomnia stage will become a problem and I will never be able to sleep. That wouldn't be so enjoyable. If it did get to the point where I couldn't sleep at all, I'd probably be prescribed Ambien, Lunesta, etc. Mediations that will basically put me to sleep.

This is unbelievable, indescribable, and interesting.

A sleep disorder? This is completely astonishing. It's so astonishing I can't believe it.
Who discovered this? Are they serious? A sleeping disorder? How do you even retrieve the symptoms of insomnia? Sleep is too important, isn't it? Why does their have to be some disorder for all the important things you need in life?

If I do in fact have insomnia, I can predict that my book that I've been planning to write with be written in the matter of months.

Insomnia? Basically a sleeping disorder.

Journalism

Process of collecting, writing, editing, and publishing news.

I googled Journalist and many types came up such as:

- Broadcast Journalist, Fashion Journalist, etc.

I never really pin-pointed what type of a Journalist I wanted to be, well I knew I always wanted to work for AP MAG, but I started thinking I need a plan b, just in case.

All I know is that I love to write, about anything and everything, writing is just my passion, and I'm willing to get off my butt and be dedicated to become a journalist, and if that statement right there doesn't let you know this is my passion, I don't know how else to tell you.

I've realized some people are not to happy about me wanting to be a journalist, and some are delighted that that's what I want to become.

I'm done with worrying about what people think about what I want to be in life, because in the end, I have to stick to my career, and I plan to.

Maybe I want to write for a magazine, maybe I'll be a novelist, maybe I will travel the world, and then write about that, whatever I'm doing and it's related to writing about someone interesting, I will love to do it over and over again.

Now do you believe that Journalism is my one true passion?
Whether you like it or not, it's what I'm striving to be, and soon it'll be who I am.

Escape

Escape - an inclination to retreat from unpleasant realities through diversion or fantasy.


Escaping reality? Hardest thing I've come across. I don't understand things enough anymore. I need to be in a place where no one is around, a place where I can sit and write, and boom, there's my first novel. Sounds like a dream, right? Well, if it's a dream, it'll be reality in the matter of time and patients.

To escape reality, I figure you must understand it fully. I usually write long blogs, but I figure I can get my point out there with a few paragraphs.


Escaping? Escaping what? Escaping reality. Escaping from the world, friends, families, etc. Let's all Escape, be free from reality, become one with yourself. Escape for the better.

Strongest Passion

Your visiting family, haven't seen them in a while (since the last holiday). The first thing they ask:
"What are your plans after high school?" My answer: "My plans? Are you kidding me? I'm still young. I need to plan for that already?"

Well, I've come to realize when you get older things don't just fall in place the way you like, life becomes harder, and it'll get harder and harder as the world advances. Well, I seem to never have a complete answer when being asked: "What are you plans after high school?" But, I seemed to have summed it up. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer when I was about 11 years old. I come to realize it's just not for me. Do we ever even figure out what we are destined to do?

I have a passion for many things, but my strongest passion is writing, and I express that through these blogs. I love sitting at my computer and typing what comes off the top of my head. So does this mean I'm destined to be a writer? Or is this in fact a phase? I can not answer that, yet. All I know is that I do enjoy writing, I do enjoy the feeling it brings, a feeling that is indescribable yet amazing.

I just wish my family (my mom to be specific) would understand what I want in life, what I aim to succeed in, what I enjoy. I want to make her proud, and I will once I publish my first book. I want her to see that it's my strongest passion, and I'm struggling to do things to make her happy.

"Sport's isn't my life, mom. Writing is my life"

I need support, love, and caring people behind me one-hundred percent. I need someone to keep me going, to fulfill this "dream."

I need you mom, your the only one that I understand, and can listen to. Help me fulfill this dream, guide me in the right path to do so, I don't have all the knowledge, but soon I will, with your help and others of course.

I hope people understand that writing is my strongest passion, and that will never change, it'll always be there.

March 23, 2008

It was indeed Easter, but something more amazing happened than just hunting eggs. I woke up at 6 o'clock ready for church. It wasn't just some ordinary church, it was better than that, I use to go to church and I would never actually understand it, because the way they worded things. But, this time, I understood and took it in word for word. The whole time he talked about giving your life to god, being peculiar, finances, and being proud to be a Christian.

Well, before church was over, he asked "who want's to give their life to god today?"

I've never gave my life to him, I've never knew how to really. So he made us repeat after him and say a passage that will let god know you want to be reborn (start fresh), be happy all the time, etc. So I said the passage, then he gave out bibles. I haven't opened it yet, but I'll get to it. It was just amazing.

That day, I spent the whole day with my family, we had a good time, but what was even better, I felt good, and like I was starting over, like it was a new start.

Oridinary Day

I woke up Saturday morning at 6am. It wasn't so bright, nor so dark. I wanted a picture of some coyotes, their usually out around 6. Where I live there's nothing but pretty trees, landscapes and wild life, and I don't have a car so I cant drive to town. That sorta explains why I have so many pictures of landscapes and wild life (animals).

Well, I went for a walk down the street, haven't seen a coyote in sight yet. I started to get frustrated because it was freezing. I thought well maybe their further down the street, so, I kept walking. I saw this immaculate tree. I thought to my self, well it looks very unique with the pond in the background. What I found out about this tree is that bee's like to buzz around it in the spring.

Then I thought, well I love the tree, but you cant really notice it in my photograph, so I went ahead and took a up close picture of the tree. Enjoy.

I thought to myself, these coyotes aren't out today, so I started to walk back. I saw this pack of yellow flowers, then I saw one, a little ways from the pack of flowers. It amazed me how the tips of the grass were wet and the little flower in the background.

I kept on walking, saw a white tree in my brother's friends yard. I walked towards it and it got beautifuler every step I took. Sorry that I didn't get a close up on this one.

Minkus

Your probably wondering, why is the title Minkus? Or, maybe, who is Minkus? But, you could also be thinking 'wow what a creative title' whatever it is going through your head, I will explain the title before you kill a brain cell trying to figure it out. Minkus? I got this kitten about 5 or so months ago, I got to choose one out of 3 kittens. I got the one that stood out to me the most. It has grown since then, but before today I didn't have a name for it. My friend was helping me think of names, she came of with some 'corny names. I was thinking about Boy Meets World the whole day, and the boy named Minkus (the smart short boy), my kitten is indeed very smart.

I was still trying to figure out if I should name her that, I didn't care if it was a boy name.
I started naming off things my kitten enjoys or good qualities, and all I came up with was:
- Smart
- Enjoys running down the hall in speed

Then it came to me, my friend talks really fast and her friends call her Minkus; and my kitten loves to run down the halls in speed. So, why not name her Minkus? So, I asked my friend and she agreed with me. I was so happy, I finally figured out a name I like for my kitten.

Inspiration

How far would you go to be a inspirer? How do you know when you are actually inspiring someone? Or, maybe, when do you know when your actually being inspired? I asked myself these questions at about, 11:00pm Thursday, February 28, 2008 - 6:30am Friday, February 29, 2008. To be honest, I never really came up with a perfect answer, but I will. But, now that my mind is set on this topic, It's practically giving me brain damage trying to figure out the answer. Every time I pick up my camera it's because of Inspiration and a drive to take photos, it's sorta hard to explain with the right words.

I woke up this morning not knowing what to expect, I woke up with ambition that's for sure. I actually wanted to attend school, I knew it would be a good day, and it in fact was. I got ready, went out side to feed my three dogs and cat, I looked outside my garage door, and looked at the sky. Right then I knew I need to catch this landscape on my camera, I ran to my room, got my camera and took about 5 pictures different lighting and angle, I choose the one I and others liked best.



After being so amazed by my photo, I went to school, then went to a nutrition class I have every 3 months. When I got home after a long day I looked at my desk and looked at the candle sitting on my desk, and I took a couple of pictures of it, the reflection was amazing to me. After shooting the candle, I thought, well I wonder what it would look like if it was lit?