Never doing the right thing

I've lived my life knowing in the back of my mind that I can never get the things I truly want, and only the things I need. I live in a household where I'm compared all the time to Their life time and how they were raised and how they grew up. It's ridiculous because as the world ages technology is becoming a must so why not keep up with it. Also, knowing such things like: some of my peers get whatever they want, when they want, and I have to watch them in their happiness.

When will my happiness come? I figure until I get my own job and earn my own money where someone is required to pay me my money no matter what. Because, do things for your family doesn't pay off one bit; they never pay you for the things you do for them, but you still do those things because their family. I'm done doing favors for people, I'm doing being the "nice guy". I'm tired of hearing the old "Be patient". It's really aggravating and it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that I can't have the things I want.

Yeah, sure I know about the people in poverty, and I'm tired of getting compared to them when I talk about how I can't have the things I want. If you think about they are in a 3rd world country, I'm in America. Don't ever compare me to them. If your going to stoop that low and compare me to them, you should compare me to my peers that go to my school look what kind of car they have, how expensive their clothes are.

Nothing is cheap, and nothing will ever be cheap in this world again, so your just going to have to cope with it and stop complaining about how you cant but something because it's not on sale. But, you want the economy to get better, go spend some money then, because that's the only way it'll ever get better.

I have family members that has done nothing extraordinary to receive all of the materialistic things that they have, and I've kept good grades my whole life and I've done most of things I do for my Mother. I'm done doing things for her, she's living her life through me and it wont happen any longer. I've applied to a summer program for science and health for her, because she cannot except the fact that I'm a creative person, I like to write and take photography. She wants me to become some Forensic Detective or some sort of Doctor.

Mom, your the one always talking about how we need to change because we have a new president and he's the first African American president. Maybe you should change.

I don't care how much money those people make, if I'm not doing something that makes me happy, then I'm not doing it for me. So why do it?

That's the question I've asked myself for the longest time. I'd say the answer is because I please others instead of pleasing myself. I try to make them happy, but even doing all that I don't get rewarded and barely get a "Good Job" for the things that I do in school. There's always something that I'm not doing right or something that I should be doing.

Why not just congratulate me for the things I do instead of complaining about what I'm not doing? Ask yourself that, and think about it each day.

I'm convinced that I will never reach potential happiness because of the way I live my life.

I'm not "okay" with that.